Fic

[penmage]

I wrote this piece for 15minuteficlets. I'm still mulling, trying to decide what I think of it.

If anyone's interested in reading it, I'm curious - does it make any sense to you without knowing all the backstory involved? Rob is one of my oldest characters, and I know his story nearly as well as I know my own, so I'm having trouble telling if it works with no prior knowledge of Rob and Andirrim.

Any other crit/comments welcome as well, of course.

Comments

[darcydodo]

It's interesting, but I'm not sure how well it works without knowing the backstory. Most of the characters seem very two-dimensional; I don't know what motivates them, and I don't have time to find out what motivates them. Rob's a bit better, since it's basically from his point of view, but I still have very little sense of character.

On the other hand, it does seem to make sense, at least within the confines of the story; I think I picked up essentially what was going on, except for a bit of story-order (where do the first two things fit into the rest of the story?). Also, some of the bits seem to have no logical conclusion; like with the woman that he was going to go see that Andirrim didn't trust.

[penmage.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's kind of what I figured, upon reread. (When I wrote it, it was more of a focused I have fifteen minutes to write this I can figure it out later.)

It's all in chronological order; I could flesh out the bits for you if you were really interested. I really have to write his story up in full one of these days - I have it in bits and pieces all over the place.

[darcydodo]

if you were really interested

There are certainly some bits that I was all "what happened next??"

[penmage.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'd be happy to fill you in. I really need to write this. Any particular bits yoy want fleshed out? I can give you the cliff notes version.

[onmyshore.livejournal.com]

In general, I understood what was going on. It was a little confusing the first time through, but I reread it a couple of times & I think I have the gist of it now. General consesnsus (well, my consensus, at least): It definitely works. The writing & pacing are quite good.

And now I'm curious to read more about these characters.

[fallen-x-ashes.livejournal.com]

And eternity in an hour.

[penmage.livejournal.com]

Pardon me?